Pony Type: Unicorn
Birth-Place: Canterlot january 1th
Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius
Hair color: red
Fur color: brown
Likes: sweets and pastries spell and comic books his pet electro ferret atom
and adventures and magic combat
Dislikes: liars villains and evil monsters
Family: Father crimson blast Mother jade blue and Older Brother navy blaze
Friends: childhood friends octavia and vinyl middle school friends black hawk
Grand master equinox the mane six and spike
Occupation: odd jobs
Hobbies: reading comics, and listening to music, Racing, learn new spells, Helping his friends, and other ponies
and go on adventures to new lands
Special talent: Fire And Protection spells later on Attack and Healing spells
Personality: Smart adventurous fun caring and loyal
Weaknesses: Cocky and overconfidence
Life goal: To keep equestria safe and to make peace between changelings and ponies
Back story: Straight-a student and fast learner after season 5 he move to ponyvilla With His Friend,
Black Hawk And Met the mane six and set up his odd job business with black hawk later,
grand master unicorn equinox took him as his apprentice sensing great potential in the young unicorn to find and keep powerful and
magic items out of the wrong hooves and claws with the help of the mane six and new friends on the way,
later on he is tasked with assemble his own elite team to stop and capture monsters and villains that escape from tartarus,
alongside with lord tirek at the time members black hawk gilda claw and blade the changeling twins heat freeze the fire and ice dragon,
Mlp element seekers new beginnings part 1Mlp element seekers new beginnings part 1
(long long ago before the rule of celestia and luna
there were three alicorn that kept the balance between the 3 types of ponies
but a new race called the changelings threaten the peace in the land,
a terrible war was raged between changlings and ponies
Aritarius one of the three alicorns form an elite army of the most skilled unicorns
and the fastest Pegasi and earth ponies strongest and with the most durability.
He want to wipe out the changlings race but the other two alicorns learn about he was planning on doing
they confronted him, they manage to defeat aritarius with the help of starswirl the bearded banish him to tartarus
then the changling fled away from equestria and peace was restore.)
And thany you so much for points you wery kind dude
Keep it up!
I LOVE IT!
Using popular characters from the show for your own stories does bring out some attention to the general pony public, but most people can agree that headcanons with OCs mostly involved are more appealing.
Again, with a story and a pony taking place in the most popular town ever, it is advisable to be balanced in your use of characters. You can always take the next, yet very vital step for the sake of your stories, to create a new character for Red Blaze. It's up to you if it is a friend, a rival, a nemesis, a parent, a cousin, etc. Stir up your imagination and extend your possibilities. ^u^
The design and characteristics are great, but including canon characters in your storyline is usually a bad idea. A lot of the time, it will be met with a roll of the eyes and accusations of Mary Sue (or Gary Stu). Trust me, I know from early experience.
The best piece of advice I got when designing my own OCs was make them interesting in their own right, and don't rely on named/canon characters to make them exceptional. Lots of people out there want their character to be the seventh member of the Mane 6, or to have a close relationship with them, or to be romantically linked to one of them - and why not? We love the Mane 6! But if you want a really strong OC that others will take seriously, you want them to be exceptional because of who they are, you don't want them to be exceptional because of who they are friends with.
As a general rule, I would say a passive relationship with the Mane 6 or other named characters is fine, but keep it light and loose (for example, Derpy - she knows the Mane 6, and on occasion interacts with them, but isn't a major part of their world).
I'd say you have a strong foundation to make a really good OC right here, and I hope to see more of him, but as he currently stands, I think he'd be dismissed as "just another Mary Sue self-insert character". I don't want you to be discouraged by that, like I said, you've got a great foundation right here, you just need to do a bit of editing.
I'd suggest focusing on his own group over the Mane 6. You have the makings of your own great group, so I'd say make them your focus, and leave the canon ponies on the sidelines.
But that's just my opinion, take from it what you will
My personal critique is this:
*Your character's main characteristics are good Everything makes sense and is straight forward.
*You might want to do some grammar fixing and spacing. It makes this hard to read. So be sure to space out your categories (i.e. Back Story and Family) and adjust your punctuation.
*Backstory seems alright and fitting. Could probably add some more details like who is in your team
*I'm not too fond of the use of canon characters, but I think having them as friends is fine. It's a debatable thing I see in the brony community and other fandoms about the use of canon characters in stories (especially romantic ones). My ponysona doesn't necessarily interact with the Mane Six or any canon pony in my stories. I do interact with them during roleplays with other bronies but that's the only exception.
Hope this helps. Thanks for letting me know about this